Rule 37: Windex

Modern Drunkard Magazine’s articleThe 86 Rules of Boozing, by Frank Kelly Rich states:
Rule 37. Try one new drink each week.
The Rule 37 series of posts chronicle my attempts to accomplish this feat every week.
For the recipes of R37s past, click the Htf do I make these drinks? tab.

Yes, this is a drink.

Also, it’s vodka-based.

I’m sorry.

This is a bit of a novelty tipple I found in one of my numerous cocktail recipe books. The book is the Playboy Bartender’s Guide, which I picked up on Amazon several years ago for a couple bucks, thinking it was a somewhat pocket-sized little recipe book. Turns out it’s a 480+ page hardbound monster. Totally worth the price. It has a lot of “cocktails” that seem to have come along in the 1970s, and aren’t really terribly tasty, but are fun for the novelty factor. One I’ve been meaning to make for quite some time is simply called “Windex,” and the original plan was to make a whole batch served in the appropriate window fluid bottle, complete with sprayer. That hasn’t happened quite yet, but I did make one to test out with some groovy glowstick lighting techniques.


– 1 1/2oz vodka (I used Bully Boy, naturally)
– 1 oz triple sec
– 1 oz blue curaçao

Shake it: it should get nice and blue. Strain and serve into a chilled cocktail glass. I used a champagne flute because I was feeling fancy. It would probably do quite nicely with an orange twist, but would somewhat distract from the glass cleaner effect.

Well. Yeah. It’s basically just vodka with triple sec. And more triple sec. Blue curaçao is simply orange curaçao with some blue coloring, and I often admonish the Lady Friend for making cocktails with it. It’s a tad gimmicky to give any credibility to a drink. A bit too party girl for me. The vodka certainly doesn’t help, as that’s another indicator of someone who wants a boozy drink, but doesn’t like the taste of booze. This is all strictly a matter of opinion, and if you’re a vodka-swilling party girl, preferably statuesque, blonde, and open-minded, by all means get in touch and we’ll discuss the matter, intimately.

Anyway, the drink is certainly Windex-blue. Like, bang on. It’s got that medicinal orangy aroma of triple sec, with a sickly sweetness. Um. That’s about it.

It tastes… well… about like the ingredients would seem. It’s sugary, fake orange flavored, with a kick of booze in there. I specifically went with the Bully Boy vodka for this one over Flag Hill’s General John Stark vodka because I wanted the neutrality of a clean spirit As mentioned in my review, the Flag Hill has a definite apple aroma and taste to it. I think it might actually play nicely with the orange sweetness in this drink and add a little more character to it.

Clearly, this drink is all about the color novelty, and when served in a Windex bottle, should nicely do the trick. I’m reminded of comedian/magician The Amazing Johnathan, who would routinely drink from a similar bottle during his stage act. A great ruse. And that’s what this drink is about: the gimmick. It’s the novelty factor that you want from this drink, instead of a quality crafted beverage.

Plus, it really just kinda looks cool.

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