Wtf are these people?
Who are these people mention in the various posts? Well, here’s the cast of characters.
Me: Squirrel Farts McAwesome. A commercial photographer and Photoshop maverick by day. I’ve spent the past several years building up a home bar and exploring the world of craft cocktails and beer. I live my life in a blur of race cars, lingerie models and aviator sunglasses. Buy me a drink.
Lady Friend: My current main squeeze. My womanly companion. She is my weekend drinking partner in crime and sugar mama. She is very knowledgeable with wines, and has pilgrimaged to France and California. Prior to me, she didn’t know much about cocktails or beer aside from a bad experience with gin, her go-to mixto tequila and sour mix Margaritas, and an occasional light macrobrew from Golden, Colorado; the “beer” whose-name-must-not-be-spoken.
Wifey: A close friend since high school. She’s married to Irish Lad, and runs a dog walking/pet sitting company. Her baby is her giant monster dog, who I call Zero or The Dumpster. Her drinks of choice are Smirnoff Ice, Carlo Rossi Sangria by the jug, and her “Wifey-rita” cocktail, which is a concoction whose ingredients and ratios vary drastically glass to glass. It’s like Narnia… you can never get there the same way twice.
Irish Lad: Husband of Wifey. My brother in beer. A craft beer nerd, more so than me. He homebrews in the basement, and grows hop vines next to the house. Enjoys a nice sipping tequila, and can be persuaded into whiskey.
Zero: The Dumpster. The preposterously large American Mastiff of Wifey and the Irish Lad. He’s quite slobbery, enjoys ice cubes, and is entranced by his own reflection. A lot of things seem to confuse him. At the last check, he’s 160lbs and growing. I can ride him. And do.
Elsa: My ’87 Porsche 944. My second child, after my camera. She’s quick and slim, and in her early 20s. She loves to quaff synthetic oil and 87 octane. She’s not a very high-maintenance girl, but when she wants something, it’s usually pricey.
Phantom: Lady Friend’s Phantom Grey ’08 Toyota Corolla. Our primary distance cruiser since Elsa doesn’t have A/C, and Lady Friend can’t drive a stick. Phantom doesn’t drink much… she’s too young.
Sissy: The Lady Friend’s younger sister. She pops up occasionally, but likes to move to a different state every 20 minutes or so, making it difficult to pin her down for a cocktail night. Enjoys Vermont craft beers with her woodsy friends and discovered Pisco while living in Peru for several months. Moved out to Nowheresville, CA to teach at a wilderness school. She knows way too much about birds of prey and how to prepare small mammals for raptor food.
JJ: JJ is a friend of the Lady Friend from their time spent together studying abroad in the French Alps, becoming roommates and wine-drinking partners. She’s une petite fille blonde in San Francisco by way of West Virginia. Like Country-Roads-Take-Me-Home-type West VA. After attended a small cocktail party at SquirrelFarts HQ she saw fit to christen me with an appropriately Bacchanalian pseudonym. She has a soft, southern lilt that amusingly comes out only after a glass or two of wine. Over-hyphenation irritates her. Her husband is in dental school, and graciously allowed the Lady Friend and I to crash at their apartment for our SFO trip. Apparently we were a bad influence, as she’s found a rekindled interest in alcohol. Another convert.
Trevtastic: ‘Tastic was a trainee for my former company, and we met during his rotation in Boston. He graduated to the sales office, and we continued our crusade of drinking adventures throughout the city, including a tour of duty in the Monday Night Cocktail Club. Eventually, he moved back to Milwaukee, though the liquor and beer flow freely whenever I find myself out there to visit.