A “Special” Rule 37: The Cullen Mutrie
Rule 37. Try one new drink each week.
The Rule 37 series of posts chronicle my attempts to accomplish this feat every week.
For the recipes of R37s past, click the Htf do I make these drinks? tab.
Ok. By now most people in New England (prob EVERYBODY in New Hampsha) has heard the story: Thursday night, five police officers went to serve a warrant at 517 Post Road in Greenland, NH. Exact details are sketchy, but in a nutshell, all five were shot, and Police Chief Michael Maloney (eight days from retirement) was killed. This led to just about every police officer in the state to swoop down on the house in an eight hour standoff with the armed suspect. Finally, around 2am, the SWAT (well, in NH it’s the SERT) team sent in a camera robot and determined that the suspect, Cullen Mutrie, and an unidentified female companion were dead.
This happened about 1.5 miles from my parents house. I went to nursery school and high school with Cullen. We never hung out in high school because he developed some… interesting… hobbies. Namely steroid use. Last year he was arrested and charged with NINE FELONIES due to steroid possession. Before that he was charged with domestic assault, and police officers went to his house to confiscate his many firearms (in his bedroom, living room, vehicle and carried with him). That’s when they found the steroids. Before THAT, in 2007, he was brought up on assault charges stemming from a bar fight at the Portsmouth Gas Light (I’m assuming this was in their “club” upstairs, rather than the restaurant portion of the building). So yeah, clearly an outstanding citizen. I remember whispers of his ‘roid use back in high school. He was always a big guy (over 6′) but began to suddenly put on LOTS of muscle. When arrested in January, he was described as 6’3″, 275 pounds. Initial reports from Thursday describe him as “as being a very large ‘juiced’ guy, very muscular.”
Now, this whole thing would be quite amusing, except police officers were shot and killed. I love watching the spectacle of someone’s life imploding, but when you take innocent people out in your Titanic-like existence, that’s not ok. Especially police officers. A good friend of mine is ( /was /is going to be again someday?) a police officer, and I certainly wouldn’t be thrilled if he got shot. One of the officers that DID get shot last night also attended our high school. It all hits very close to home, and I don’t even live there anymore. Because of this, I really don’t have much sympathy for Cullen. He made his choices, and it’s just a shame that he had to ruin other lives along the way. So in one final sendoff, here’s a “Very Special” Rule 37.
The Cullen Mutrie
- One bottle of Muscle Milk. Spike with creatine and other anabolics if you’ve got them.
- Five shot glasses of the liquor of your choosing
Chug the Muscle Milk to build mass until the cops show up. Take five shots. Hole up in the house until the SWAT team arrives.
Can’t say I’ll miss you, Cullen. Glad you’re gone, but it’s sad that you took a police officer with you.